When we struggle, we often seek advice. But there is more advice available than we can process. There are thousands of people offering infinitely different suggestions. It is easy to get overwhelmed.

In recovery I learned some guidelines for getting advice that I use nearly every single day.

1) Find someone who has what you want.

2) Ask them how they got it.

In terms of my recovery, I just wanted all the pain to stop. I just wanted to be happy. So I found some people that appeared to have that and got their advice.

Physically I wanted to be healthy. Strong, resilient, capable, independent. I found some people who appeared to have that and took their advice.

There is a hidden question before the two listed above, though. You may have to meditate on it a bit but it is essential to beginning your quest. That question is:

What does happy look like for you?