Addiction, I’ve learned is all about ego. Excessive self-interest, self-concern, self-centeredness, self-absorption.
“How do I look?”
“What do they think of me?”
“How did that sound?”
“What will happen to me?”
“Who will look out for me if I don’t?”
Recovery, I’ve learned is about humility. I sometimes confuse the idea of humility and humiliation, but they are not the same. One is constructive and the other destructive. An easy way I have learned to distinguish them is that:
Humiliation causes me to think less of myself.
Humility causes me to think of myself less.
Some of us are influenced or even ruled by what we think of as other people’s opinions of us. But is that true? It can’t be, because there is no way for us to actually know what other people’s opinions of us are.
What we are actually influenced by is our opinion of other people’s opinions. The term I’ve heard for this is “projection.”
I love CrossFit and while CrossFit can be practiced alone, it most often takes place in a group setting. On more than one occasion I have listened to people explain that they don’t want to work out in front of people for fear of how they might look.
My response is consistently, “Everyone is too worried about their own performance to be looking at you!”
It may come as a surprise but while we may be the most important thing in our own world, we probably don’t matter that much in someone else’s.
In this regard, maybe we would do well to think of ourselves with the same frequency that others are thinking about us…….”Not that often.”