Yourself does not believe you anymore.
All these years of bullshit, falls promises, lies, and excuses, have destroyed that relationship.
When you say to Yourself, “This year I’m gonna lose 20 pounds and stop watching all of the tv,” Yourself is like “Hahahahahahahaha, whatever.” Yourself knows you.
Guess whose fault that is? You trained Yourself to not trust you. If anyone knew all the promises you had broken to Yourself, no one else would trust you either.
The first day I decided to quit drinking it was about 9:00 AM. I told Myself, “Today is the day we get on with our lives.” And that was the extent of my plan. Then Myself took over. By 3pm we were both wasted.
The ensuing 4 years was a continuous series of more and more drastic attempts to defeat Myself.
All of these ideas, mind you, were absolutely brilliant and guaranteed to work. But somehow, Myself always showed up just at the exact wrong time and bitch-slapped me for even trying.
Then I found some people who were once like me but seemed to have found something that worked.
They walked me through my past and showed me how every attempt I had made had been completely destroyed by Myself. I became convinced that Myself had been the problem all along. Myself was stronger than me.
Nothing I was told to do was new. But it worked because I believed them. Because it worked for them. Millions of them. Turns out it was my inability to trust Myself that was the source of all this shit. And the only way to restore that relationship was to trust someone/something outside of Myself.
Trusting them was a decision.
But after looking at my history of failure, and comparing it to their history of success, that choice wasn’t that difficult. I just had to go through a lot of pain to get there.
I don’t think I even have to break it down today. This was my exact experience with CrossFit.