“It never occurred to us that we needed to change ourselves to meet conditions” p.47 12×12

Me change? F*ck that.

The world should bend to me. I should get what I want out of life because of all that I’ve had to go through. People should judge me based on my insides. I should receive awards and accolades for my potential alone.

You know, if they would promote me at work, then I would work harder. If I made more money, I would do more.

I would be as good as that guy if I had everything handed to me like he did. If I hadn’t been dealt these cards, if I had the genetics, if I lived where he does, if I had had the opportunities he’s been given, if I could train 4 hours a day.

I would lose weight if fast food wasn’t so bad for you. If they stopped bringing boudin and king cake to work, and if the coke machine didn’t have coke in it, and frappuccinos weren’t just milkshakes with a splash of coffee.

I would have a better relationship if women weren’t so stuck up. I would work out if I had the time. I would be different if everything around me changed.

One day conditions will change and then I’ll be happy. One day everything around me will be different and then I’ll be able to reach my potential. Then everyone will see. In the meantime I’ll just continue to identify everything that’s wrong with everyone and everything around me. And I’ll complain about it. That’ll make me feel better.

Yeah, that’ll make me feel better until that day comes, and I know it’s coming, when I catch my break, when everything around me changes. But until then, I’ll just keep doing what I’ve been doing and put all my effort into wishing.

-2010 Josh